Bionic Woman

The models of Deal or No Deal channeled their inner Bionic Women, performing their own version of Michelle Ryan and Katee Sackhoff’s famous rainy rooftop fight scene.  In a remarkable show of concentration, the models never slipped in their heels and never dropped the signature Deal or No Deal numbered cases.

The dialogue from the clip is word for word the dialogue from the Bionic Woman premiere, starting from Katee’s “Stop, Time Out” and going through the moment where Michelle completes the fight still standing.  While the models slap fight instead of hard punch, and they keep both feet on the ground instead of flying through the air on harnesses, it is still an entertaining spoof of the show.

It’s also a reminder of what the show could have been, as everything related to Bionic Woman tends to be.  Even with all of its flaws, the pilot still presented interested characters and a fascinating premise in the form of the frenemy relationship between Jaime Sommers and Sarah Corvus.

The two of them had the potential to embody the phrase “What does not kill you makes you stronger,” while the show could have explored some of the more intriguing and disturbing questions of our time.  The role of government subcontractors with blanket powers, the mystery of what is more powerful in the potential war between metaphysics or physics, the ongoing culture wars over what makes a “perfect woman” … Bionic Woman could have explored these questions, and many more.

But as I wrote the other day, that is what killed the show.  EVERYBODY saw the potential of Bionic Woman, but they all had a different idea of what the show should do to live up to their unique views and expectations.  And a show that tries to please everyone, like a person that tries to please everyone, is doomed to failure and will never please very many people at all.

Not sure how we missed this last fall, but Attack of the Show did a Bionic Woman parody featuring Olivia Munn called Lesbionic Woman. 

In the Munn version of the NBC drama, Jaime Sommers is a well groomed hottie who looks more like a debutante than a bartender.  Jaime gets hit by a car instead of a truck driven by a psycho, and and the giant scream reveal scene that was featured so prominently in the United States promos shows Jaime discovering she is now wearing combat boots and flannel. 

The Lesbionic Woman attacks a man with a rainbow flag, knees another one in the groin, and talks on the phone with an ear peice to her headquarters just like Michelle Ryan’s Jaime chatted with Kevin Rankin’s Nathan. 

All of this leads up to the video’s, um, climax, where Jaime stops a group of terrorists by stunning their blonde leader with an open mouth kiss.  It’s no coincidence that the blond leader looks a bit like Katee Sackhoff’s Sarah Corvus, and the gun wielding terrorists behind her look a bit like the nondescript, gun-heavy men in black who appeared in almost every episode of the show. 

In the final scene Olivia Munn’s Jaime discovers that her car alarm has hidden vibrator-esque benefits — a perk that Michelle Ryan’s Jaime definitely would have appreciated.  Overall it’s pretty funny, and the Attack of the Show clip even gets a thumbs up from the ladies over at LesbianGamers.com.

In stark contrast MadTV did a Lesbionic Woman skit as well, where Jaime’s character gets a mullet and joins a softball team. This version is not even remotely funny, grabbing on all of the negative stereotypes it can stuff into its thankfully short time and lacking the fun of the Attack of the Show sketch.  Still, if you like the idea of Jaime in a mullet rolling around on the grass with a Katee Sackhoff impersonator with frightening red lips, feel free to check it out.

Someone was kind enough to put the U.K. promos for Bionic Woman up on YouTube, and they are a treat. 

Combining some of the best moments of the first few episodes, the above promo features lots of butt-kicking by Michelle Ryan’s Jaime Sommers.  There are a few good one liners, an earnest plea from Miguel Ferrer’s Jonas Bledsoe and that is it … no Sarah Corvus, no Jae, no Becca.  And the promo is better for it.

The promo below is for the premiere, and watching it makes it clear why Bionic Woman pulled in ITV2’s biggest audience to date.  With lots of action sequences interspersed between scenes of Michelle with her hair blowing attractively yet menacingly in the wind, the promo did a better job than the show of explaining the intriguing concept of a woman forced to become a war machine against her will. 

Even better, this version of a premiere promo cut out the long and horrid scream that was featured so prominently in the United States’ teasers.  It’s a promo that really is better, faster, and stronger … and more suited for a show that was meant to be a fast paced look at the moral dilemmas associated with Jaime’s unique opportunity/horrific situation.

The promos make me long for what the show could have been, before the network meddled too much and the show went through three show runners in its first third of its first season.  Ah, Bionic Woman … we never got to see how strong you could become.

Bionic Woman has dropped from first to third place in TV.com’s voting for the Best New Fall Show. Quite depressing, as the show was easily leading the pack a few days ago by at least 30,000 votes. And while TV.com said it was going to end the contest the day of the People’s Choice Awards, voting has continued.

Unfortunately, most of the voters have not been clicking on Bionic Woman.

Instead, their allegiance has been with Californication and Pushing Daisies, both of which got a huge amount of click votes this week. In fact Californication’s total rose by around 200,000 clicks!

Current totals show Californication with 37% of the vote and 516,129 clicks, Pushing Daisies with 32% of the vote and 449,608 clicks, and Bionic Woman with 27% of the vote and 369,515 clicks.

Still a respectable showing for Jaime & Co., but I can’t help but be disappointed after becoming convinced that Bionic Woman would win earlier this week. It just goes to show you … in viewer polls, and in presidential elections, it is never good to call a winner until the polls are closed and all of the votes are in.

One contest I was happy to call wrong (so far): Tuesday I blogged that Battlestar Galactica’s Grace Park was second only to Heroes‘ hottie and It Girl Hayden Panettierre for the Hottest Actress of the 2007. Well Grace’s fans have helped her surge ahead, and now she has 1,155,089 votes and a whopping 44% of the vote! Keep it up Grace fans, as this would be a nice accolade for the beautiful yet soon-to-be-unemployed Ms. Park.

Bionic Woman is currently leading the pack in a viewers poll for Best New Fall Show being held at TV.com.  As of this morning Bionic Woman was in first place, with 36% and 351,703 votes.  There does not seem to be a limit on the number of times you can vote, so if you love the show go over there and click your support!

David Duchovny’s Californication is in second place right now with 33% of the vote, a scant three percent behind Bionic Woman.  Pushing Daisies has 26%, and Reaper, Kid Nation, and Aliens in America are trailing with 4%, 2%, and 1% respectively.

Thanks to Justine at All About Tahmoh Penikett, who helped me locate this voters poll.  If you would like to thank Justine as well, be sure to vote for Tahmoh in the Hottest Actor category … the picture they used is not the best, but a quick glimpse at Justine’s blog will give you a gander at why he was nominated in the first place.

Edit: Somebody has seen this post, because there is some serious voting going on today! Most of the other shows have stayed the same, but since I published this a few hours ago the votes for BW have gone up to 362,638! That’s almost 11,000 clicks in less than a day … hooray for this show and its fans, and keep up the good work!

Also, I was incorrect this morning … Kid Nation is .02 percent of the vote, not 2%. My apologies for the error.

After taking a week off for the Thanksgiving holiday, NBC has a new Bionic Woman tonight at 9 EST.

Titled, “Do Not Disturb,” the official release says:

Jaime’s spa vacation with Becca is disrupted by a dangerous cat-and-mouse game with another guest.

Hmmmm.  This sounds lame, because it is a Becca centric episode.  Let’s hope there are several Nathan scenes to numb the pain.

Here’s the preview.

The distinctive line from the promo for "The List," Bionic Woman’s sexy Paris episode, was very appropriate for Jaime Sommers.  "Nothing can stop me" raged the female singer in the ad, and every time I heard it I wanted to know who sang the song as it seemed very appropriate for Jaime Sommers and her bionic body parts.

It turns out the song is titled, appropriately, "Unbreakable" and it is by Fireflight which is a female-fronted Christian rock band.  The album featuring the song will not be out until next year, but you can buy the song on iTunes right now according to the band’s label.

The band has hyped the connection all over the Internet, as any relatively unknown group would if they had a song that was being played repeatedly on prime time television:  “So that’s a really huge thing to happen to us,” said Fireflight vocalist Dawn Richardson. “We were just so excited.”

There is a new Bionic Woman tonight on NBC 8/9 CST.  This is supposed to be the conclusion of Isaiah Washington’s five episode arc on the show.

The preview clips together what looks like a showdown between Michelle Ryan’s Jaime Sommers and Isaiah Washington’s Antonio Pope.  I am secretly hoping Sommers has to kill Pope and we will be done with Washington on the show forever.

The official promo says:  Jaime and Antonio (Isaiah Washington) set out to foil an assassination plot, but Jaime has doubts about her partner’s intentions after overhearing a conversation he has with the would-be killer. Elsewhere, Jaime invites Tom to her home to meet Becca.

Check out the clip.

A little birdie dropped us an an extended clip of tonight’s show featuring Michelle Ryan and Miguel Ferrer discussing Washington’s character and his possible connection to an assassination.

We didn’t have a Bionic Woman new episode last week, but here’s the preview for tonight’s episode, “The List.”

So ponders Jim Cramer of CNBC’s “Mad Money.”  Via Newsday.com:

The other night Jim Cramer, the never-robotic host of “Mad Money” on CNBC, confessed that he loves the new “Bionic Woman” partly because of “the stock opportunities it showcases.” As baby boomers’ bodies break down, they’ll need spare parts. So, he says, consider companies like Alcon (ACL) that are in the business of “building bionic women and $6-million men.”

Or it could be that General Electric, which owns NBC and CNBC, has put out a memo to all its employees: start promoting Bionic Woman.

Tonight’s episode looks interesting because Jordan Bridges guest stars as a possible new love interest for Jaime Sommers.  Does this mean Will is really dead and Chris Bowers was discarded a la Mae Whitman?

Remember, Bionic Woman airs 8/9 CST on NBC.

The beautiful Bionic Woman herself, Michelle Ryan, recently landed on the cover of TV Guide.  The staff at TV Guide were kind smart enough to film the photo shoot with Ryan and the rest of the cast and make it available for us all to watch.  It includes interviews with Michelle Ryan, Katee Sackhoff and several cast members.  Most telling is a clip of actor Chris Bowers, a.k.a., the supposedly deceased fiance Will Anthros.  There has been much speculation that Will really isn’t dead and I think including Bowers in the photo shoot lends credence to the theory.

The most fun is Katee Sackhoff talking about her love for the outdoors and her ability to gut her of fish.

Enjoy.

Tonight’s episode, “Faceoff” looks even more fun than last week’s episode because the action sequence looks bigger and better.  Also, Michelle Ryan’s Jaime Sommers look like she will duke it out with Isaiah Washington’s Antonio Pope.  Episode 1.03 had a brief sparring scene between the two, but also produced the worst line of the series thus far.

Remember, Bionic Woman airs on NBC Wednesdays at 8/9 CST.

Here is the preview of tonight’s episode, entitled, “Sisterhood”.  This week’s episode looks Katee Sackhoff heavy with the bionic women, Jaime Sommers and Sarah Corvus, relying on each other to escape a deadly situation.  Margie wondered if Katee Sackhoff’s Sarah Corvus would become more “frenemy” than complete enemy.  Maybe this episode we will find out.

I can’t wait to see them on screen and hopefully there will be another battle scene just as rockin’ as the rooftop fight in the pilot.

Don’t forget the new issue of TV Guide hits the stands today, with Michelle Ryan and Bionic Woman on the cover! Michelle talks about being star struck by Jennifer Garner, and all of the focus on the show, in the magazine’s article.

Bionic Woman premiered in Australia last night, complete with a flurry of publicity for the show down under.

Want to buy a thirty second spot on Bionic Woman? According to MediaWeek the show is NBC’s most expensive new offering, with rates of $185,000 a spot.

SFGate.com is not happy with Bionic Woman’s faux San Francisco setting, noting that the show “does not even try” to look like the location where Jaime & Co. supposedly work, live, play, and fight.

Based on the comments on TVSquad, a lot of people are just as upset as Ryan about the idea of Isaiah Washington claiming he may get a Bionic Woman spin off … especially since he said it before his character was even on the air. Remote Access is also interested in Isaiah’s comments about how the government sees Jaime as a military weapons property.

Michelle Ryan talks with FitSugar.com about her workout routine, and A Socialite’s Life has pictures of her working out. She also speaks with The Scanner about how she would not like to be bionic or have a mind-reading bionic boyfriend in her own life.

Ryan wrote about how he thought Katee Sackhoff should not be smoking on Bionic Woman, and apparently she agrees because this weekend she told some guests at the Sacramento Comic-Con that she has asked the producers to air some anti-smoking public service announcements during the show.

Katee fans are also thrilled about her role in Halo 3, including lines in the game that sound suspiciously like lines from her Battlestar Galactica character Kara “Starbuck” Thrace. If you are a Katee Sackhoff fan, be sure to vote for her as “Best Female Action Star” in the poll that is up over at Slice of SciFi.com. Claudia Black from Farscape and Stargate SG-1 and Summer Glau from Firefly and Serenity are in the lead right now, followed closely by Amanda Tapping from Stargate: SG1 and Stargate: Atlantis.

Bionic Woman, NBC, Michelle Ryan, TV Guide, ratings, advertisement, Katee Sackhoff, smoking, Sacramento, Starbuck, Kara Thrace, Battlestar Galactica, Halo 3, San Francisco, Isaiah Washington, Amanda Tapping, Stargate, Atlantis, SG-1, Firefly, Serenity, Summer Glau, Claudia Black, Farscape, Stargate, Life